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How will such ancient specimens, young when the Bay City Rollers were big and already set in our ways, adapt to a tiny baby? We sit cross-legged, and learn to breath deep in our bellies – “like babies do, but we forget as we grow older”, says the instructor. Typically at NCT classes, people discover not only the gory details of childbirth. They also seek like-minded couples upon whom they will rely intimately for support, wondering perhaps, if they would trust them with their little treasure.It’s amazing how old we all are. All of which makes it foreign territory for most men.It’s hardly surprising then – stripped at the door of our shoes – that we size each other up cautiously This isn’t just any old meeting. “It’ll be full of poncy men huggin’ each other,” he complained, and swiftly arranged for his brother, Grant, to ring at the vital moment to call him away for an emergency.You can see Phil’s point. This is therapy country – that world of scatter cushions, futons and Bodyshop smells, where counsellors in converted lofts heal mental anguish and aromatherapists ease physical pain.

And our playground is state of the art.EastEnders had warned us to expect the worst at the NCT. A few months ago, Kath attended a class and found herself swamped amid incense burners and touchy-feely middleclassdom Her husband, macho man Phil, wasn’t having any of it. Eight couples, all of whose babies are due in late October and November, have come seeking enlightenment. We’ll be backonce a week for the next two months, hoping that, come the EDD – expected date of delivery – we’ll not be as green as we are now.
We’re in north London, parodied as the home of the refurbished terraced house, Provencal decor, stripped pine floors and anxious, aged first parents. Stoke Newington to be precise, where thirtysomethings breed in a hothouse for human fertility before it’s too late.

Many gay women also come here to have their children – you can go to a kiddies’ party in “Stokey” and meet virtually no dads: they simply don’t exist. Perhaps there’s something in the water here, but we’ve got the highest birthrate in western Europe. The one restaurant that dares to ban children has provoked a huge rumpus. “Try to imagine you have a pencil in your anus and you’re writing your name with it.” Sixteen adults duly stand on all fours. “Full name or just the first?” I gasp as National Childbirth Trust intructor leads us through the physical difficulties of having a baby. It’s our first lesson, appropriately enough in National Pregnancy Week.

“I vowed not to watch the Games on television, but naturally I did It just rubbed even more salt into my wounds.”. Ottey was the overall Grand Prix winner in 1987 and 1990.Russia’s Svetlana Masterkova, who won the 800m and 1500m double in this summer’s Atlanta Olympics, set world records over 1,000m and the mile in Brussels and Zurich last month. Although she is out of contention for the overall prize, she can hope to end her season with victory in the 1500m.Twelve world records have been set at the historic Arena stadium, which is now restored after years of neglect. The last was Ed Moses’s 400m hurdles, when he achieved 47.13 seconds in 1980.Rob Denmark, the Commonwealth 5,000m champion, has been granted a late entry in the Great North Run on 15 September.Denmark is hoping to put the disappointment of missing the Olympic Games behind him by coming up with a strong performance on Tyneside.”I was gutted,” said Denmark, who was ruled out ofAtlanta with an Achilles tendon injury.