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Physically, it is impressive – sturdy and substantial and quite reminiscent of a real fish, albeit a hard metal one. The “mouth” descends over the top of the bottle, the “tail” is used to turn the screw and the “fins” expand as you pull the cork out. Bacchanal’s promise that the Lazy Fish is “three times easier to use than a traditional corkscrew” was refuted by each panellist, with the exception of Nick. It was difficult to align the screw in the centre of the cork because the Lazy Fish is so heavy. It was also hard to get started – we had to turn the bottle to get the screw inside.

After that the cork pulled out quite smoothly, although Fiona and I had to hold the bottle between our feet.Aesthetic appeal aside, the Lazy Fish could be better. “Corkscrews are tools, they need to work well,” said Richard. Fiona had other ideas for it: “I might put it on my mantlepiece as a bit of sculpture, but I would never use it to open a bottle of wine.”***BACCHANAL GENIUSpounds 4.49This type of corkscrew, the preferred choice of restaurant workers, is sometimes called the “waiter’s friend”. Flat and pocket-sized, it was the most portable of those we tested, making it ideal for travelling or taking on picnics. And it has very good foil-cutting blade which folds away inside its handle.Any problems that arise with the Genius are to do with inexperience, rather than design flaws “It’s not an ideal model for beginners,” admitted Richard. Where other models are designed to guide the screw down into the cork, this one isn’t; in fact it’s entirely up to you to get the angle of insertion just right.

And even then it’s quite difficult to pull the cork out.But for those with strong wrists and fine-tuned opening skills, this is an excellent choice. “It’s a classic design,” said Richard, “and deserves a five, at least for people who know how to use it.”*****SCREWPULL ELITEpounds 18.99Easy on the eye, easy to use and well-made, the Elite was the panel’s undisputed favourite. Richard observed, “you need no gravity, no downward pressure, no force of weight like you do with others. It really is a great corkscrew.” It was the only corkscrew that the whole panel could use sitting down.

Nick described it as “very simple and straightforward to use” In fact, it’s just the job for beginners and experts alike. And Fiona commented on its “simple but aesthetically pleasing design”.The Elite’s drawback is its foil-cutter; its less than razor-sharp blade meant it took a few tries to cut off the top And Nick felt it was “a bit pricey” at pounds 18.99. But in the end we all agreed that for its sturdiness, proficiency and simplicity that was a price worth paying.STOCKISTSScrewpull’s Bistro and Elite are available from Selfridges, London; for details of other stockists call 0171 255 2424 The Tefal Deluxe is available at Selfridges and Oddbins. For stockists of the Lazy Fish and the Genius contact Bacchanal on 0121 520 4727.

Alessi’s Anna-G is available from Oggetti, 143 Fulham Road, London SW3 and Heal’s, London W1, and other Alessi stockists !. “You see” says Jeff Turner philosophically, “Some people like jumping straight into a Ferrari when they pass their test. And some,” he continues, fixing me with a practised eye, “prefer a Ford Escort.” Show me, I demand silently of the marketing manager of Yamaha Motor (UK), the man who would rather jump into a Ford Escort and I will show you a churl. “In motorbike terms,” continues Jeff, handing me the key to the impressive sounding Yamaha XJ600S Diversion, “this is our Ford Escort.” The XJ600S is the favourite tool of the motorcycle instructor as well as the darling of the first time buyer How glamorous he makes it all sound, I muse. My interest in this good- looking, steely blue impostor is cooling by the second.
According to Professor Martin Clarke (of passim the Independent on Sunday, April 20), an expert in “car geography” from Leeds University, I am, to all intents and purposes for the next two weeks, Essex man, riding the motorcycle equivalent of the boy racer’s favourite car. I should have guessed from the stubby chrome exhaust pipes which are at least a foot short of a seriously grown-up length.”Enjoy,” smiles Jeff, handing me the keys after a short run-down of the bike’s foolproof features. There are no surprises about this four-stroke, air-cooled, four cylinder, chain-driven bike.